Moving Forward in 2020

I'm sorry for being so rude to you, for treating you with the disdain with which I actually feel for myself. I'm sorry for going off and turning into someone you really don't recognize anymore, for not giving you the opportunity to learn enough of who I had become through that journey.

Writing would have helped this, it would have helped me communicate to you what I have been working on, what I have learnt, and experimented with, and come to understand about the world that we live in, together. It would have helped me communicate to myself what I was thinking, it would have helped me focus my thoughts and what I needed to do next.

Alas, we'll see if this time I can be a consistent writer.

Regardless this piece is just to say that I will try harder, I will try harder to more effectively communicate with you how I'm feeling, what I'm working on, and where I am focusing on in the future.

I am calm, I am confident, and I am still very concerned for the future of our species.

I know, I went there straight away. I didn't even open up with something relevant to our relationship, some detail about the strains that we have personally been feeling, I went to issue of the extinction of all life on our planet.

I do this so that you know, that ultimately, while I am both calm and collected, I am still very focused on this singular issue. How did it come to be our reality and what we need to do to adapt to the changes that are coming?

It scares you when I call myself anti-capitalist, it makes you question what that means for our relationship. In fact I think I've even gone so far as to say that your relationship with and my opinion of capitalism, put us at odds.

In reality as much as I cosplay the class-war in my daily interactions with you, it's not truly you that I am focused on defeating.

Because ultimately like me, you're nothing.

You are not the real holder of power in this system, you are as equally a victim as me. On a long enough timeline everything returns to zero, especially your “investments” on a planet devoid of life.

You do have some private capital though, or at least fundamental decision making power over that allocation of capital. What you are doing with that private capital is, knowing what it is we do at this point in time, extremely immoral.

You are a good person, you have a heart that has grown through adversity, you have taken on a world built against you and yet you have still carved out a relatively safe place in this world. I love you, even though I don't show it very well, you must know I really do love you.

I'm not angry, I'm just really disappointed.

You look away from this activism, you don't want it in your attention realm, you don't want to learn about it, you don't want to feel uncomfortable with that knowledge.

Not yet, we will get you there.

So for now I'm going to ask that you go check out these websites, and I'll start working on the next piece of writing.

Choices made now are critical for the future of our ocean and cryosphere

Extinction Rebellion

Democracy at Work